中国人请客吃饭和西方人有什么不同（分析的太精辟了）

西西

A friend asks me “Why Chinese don’t go Dutch?” So I want to regard this question as the topic and write an article. As everyone knows, Occidental will go Dutch while having a meal in the restaurant. But Chinese don’t go Dutch. Chinese will pay the bill and check out generously. Occidental don’t often entertain guests; but Chinese often invite friend to dinner. A lot of Occidentals feel puzzled to this question.

Why exists such a difference? Because of the East and West culture and custom are different on the surface. I will analyze this question concretely.

First of all, food systems between China and Occident are different. Chinese put into practice Gather Dining System; Occidentals put into practice Individual Dining System. Everybody can share the delicious food of all over the table when eating Chinese food. Please note it is sharing; but Occidentals just eat the food in one’s own plate, if you eat beef, he eats chicken. It is impossible that you taste the flavor of his chicken. The result of the Individual Dining System is that you can only eat the food in your plate. It is unable to share. Ha-ha! What I said is right!

So to eat Chinese food is happier than to eat Western-style food. And I want to ask you a question. Do you like the free thing? I think nobody don’t like the free thing. Ok! Suppose I invite you to eat the delicious Chinese food, then I pay the bill. This is equivalent to that you have enjoyed a delicious Chinese food free. So you will be very glad. Have strengthened the relation between us in the happy atmosphere.

Secondly, Occidentals eat for the health; Chinese eat for the friendship. Occidental advocate individualism and independence is strong. So Occidental express that respect for each other’s independence through the way go Dutch. Chinese like making friends and solidarity. Chinese value the interpersonal relationships and friendship very much. There are a lot of folk adages in China, for example “Depend on parents at home, leave home and depend on the friend!”,“Handle affairs is easy if you have many friends!”, another sentence is the more violent: “Insert the knife into both sides of the rib for friend!!!”.

Therefore, friend’s position is important in Chinese’s mind. The purpose that Chinese don’t go Dutch is doesn’t want to destroy the friendship between the friends. Dutch treatment is the stingy behavior in China, is unfavorable to the friends’ solidarity and is unfavorable to keeping the harmonious interpersonal relationship.

Third, it is only simple “Have a meal!” that Occidental entertain guests. It is not purpose that Chinese entertain guests, but it is the means. In Americans’ idea, “Have a meal” definition is to add fuel to the body for keeping health and normal life activity. Thus resist the attack of disease. That is to say, there is no any additional value.

In the Chinese idea, “Have a meal” not only is for maintaining the health of the body, but also is a kind of life enjoyment, even is the means to promote friendship between the friends. After enjoying the sumptuous delicious food, you are glad, I am glad too, everybody is glad. The friendship between the friends has been strengthened in this kind of atmosphere.

Chinese are a nation liking treat very much. Generally speaking, one party who propose treat will pay the bill in China. But purposes are different. For example you help me to do a thing, I will invite you to dinner in order to express thankfulness to you, certainly, I will pay the bill. Suppose I am a company manager, you are another company manager. I talk about the business with you, and I will say: “Let’s have a meal together!”. Certainly, I will pay the bill. My purpose is that congratulates business’ success, promote the friendship between us, even the friendship and cooperation between two companies.

In fact, Chinese are very complicated. So I say that Chinese don’t go Dutch is not merely a kind of folkway and custom, but it is a means, a method, a repayment way, a way to express emotion, even is probably a kind of stratagem …



一个朋友问我：“为什么中国人不是各付各的钱？”所以我要写一篇文章把这个问题作为关注的焦点。正像每个人都知道的那样，西方人在饭店吃饭往往都是AA制，而中国人却慷慨地把别人的也一起给付了。西方人不常款待客人，而中国人却经常邀请朋友吃饭。许多西方人对此感到困惑不解。

为什么存在这样的差别呢？表面上的原因是由于东西方文化的差异。我将具体分析其中道理。

首先，西方国家和中国的进餐方式不同。中国人实行的是“集体共享制”；西方人实行的是“个人分餐制”。中国人吃饭时每个人都可以共享桌上的每一种鲜美食品，请注意是“共享”；但西方人只是吃自己盘子里的食物，假如你吃牛肉，他吃鸡肉，你就不可能品尝他的鸡肉。“个人分餐制”的结果就是你只能吃自己盘子里的，不可能共享食品。哈哈，我说的不错吧！

因此，吃中餐比吃西餐更能让人愉悦。我想问你个问题：你喜欢免费的东西吗？我想没有人会说不喜欢。Ok！假如我请你吃鲜美的中国食品，并且我来付账。这就等于是让你免费享用了中国美食，因此你会非常开心。这种愉快的气氛便加强了你我之间的联系。

其次，西方人聚餐是身体的需要；中国人聚餐是为了友谊。西方人倡导个人主义，独立性很强。因此西方人通过各自付账的方式来表达他们对彼此独立性的赞赏。而中国人却非常看中人与人之间的交流和友谊。中国有很多谚语，比如：“在家靠父母，出门靠朋友！”.“朋友多了好办事！”，还有一句更猛的：“为朋友两肋插刀！！！”

因此，在中国人的头脑中把朋友放在很重要的位置。中国人不采用各自付账的方式不会损害朋友间的友谊。相反，各付己账被认为是小气的行为，这不利于朋友的团结，也不利于保持和谐的人际关系。

第三，西方人接待客人“吃饭”很简单，不像中国人接待客人那样带有意图。在美国人的心目中，“吃饭”无非就是给身体增加营养，保持身体健康和维持正常的生理活动，以抵御疾病的侵扰。换句话说，这里面根本没有任何附加的价值。


而在中国人的头脑中，“吃饭”不仅仅是保持身体健康，还是一种生活的享受，甚至是增进友谊的助推剂。在享用完美味的盛宴之后，你开心，我也开心，每个人都很开心。朋友间的友谊就在这样的氛围中加深了。

中国是个非常好客的国家。一般来说，在中国总是有一方来付账。但他们的目的有所不同。比如你帮我做了一件事情，我会请你吃饭以便表达我对你的谢意，这当然是我来付账。假如我是一个公司经理，你是另一家公司经理，我想和你讨论生意上的事，我会说：“我们一起吃顿饭吧！”这当然也是我来付账。我的目的就是祝贺生意成功，增进我们之间的友谊，增进我们两个公司之间的合作和友谊。

事实上，中国的人际关系很复杂。所以我说，中国人不各自付账不仅仅是一种社会风俗和习惯，它还是一种手段，一种方式，一种报答的方式，一种表达情感的方式，甚至可能是一种计谋……