为什么癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉？

西西

"You're prettier than I am," Seth Rogen's character drunkenly slurs to Katherine Heigl at one point in the 2007 movie "Knocked Up." Now a new study confirms what most of us have known all along: Men, no matter how unattractive, think they’ve got a chance with beautiful women.
  It’s a rule, bartender Karen Brody says: The schlubbier the guy, the more likely he is to persistently pursue a pretty woman.
  Brody — a lithe, slender Woodstown, N.J., bartender who looks at least a decade younger than her 47 years — recalls the time she was being "entertained" by a paunchy trucker with several missing front teeth. As the night wore on, he slumped to one side and eventually toppled off his barstool. When she raced around to make sure he was OK, the plump patron immediately resumed his pick-up patter — from the floor.
  Apparently, the pudgy trucker isn't just an aberration, and the come-ons aren't just the after-effects of alcohol. A new study confirms what women say they've known all along: Men, no matter how unattractive, think they’ve got a chance with a runway model.
  The proof was in the matchmaking Web site HOTorNOT.com, a site where members rate each others' "hotness." The site offered a treasure trove of data: It contained information not only on dating habits of its members, but also on the members’ opinions of their own attractiveness and the "hotness" of potential dates, according to a study published in a recent issue of Psychological Science.
  Researchers studied ratings and dating information from 16,550 members during a 10-day period in 2005. All members studied were heterosexual, with 75 percent males and 25 percent female.
  Using this data, they determined that the physical attractiveness of a potential mate was more important to men than women. And men were less likely than women to think that their own lack of attractiveness — based both on a self assessment and the ratings of others — should stand in the way of a date with someone "hot."
  Maybe men think women have all read "The Frog Prince" and taken it to heart, allowing us to look past an ugly exterior in the search for inner beauty. Or perhaps it’s that men have internalized the messages in the popular media: movies like "Knocked Up," where the slacker hero lands a beautiful babe, or TV shows like "According to Jim," in which a difficult, slobby guy is coupled with a gorgeous wife.
  The lead author of the study, Leonard Lee, an assistant professor at Columbia’s Graduate School of Business, thinks these far-fetched movie and TV couples might explain why unfortunate-looking men tend to hold out such high hopes. But he wonders whether the unattractive guys eventually learn that their chances are slim regardless of what they see on screen. There’s another important finding in the study, he says: The 10s among us, both male and female, want only to date other 10s.
  There are hints in the HOTorNOT.com data that suggest men do learn to accept their limitations: They apparently hedge their bets by asking for more dates. In fact, the men in the study requested a full 240 percent more dates than the women. Researchers didn't look at how many of these online come-ons were successful, but the number of dates most men asked for might be a sign that the less attractive among us — even the men — recognize that they may have to settle for dating someone who is closer to them on the "hotness" scale.
  "Good looking people are always looking for other good looking people," says Helen Fisher, a professor at Rutgers University who studies mating behavior and romantic love. "And ultimately, men figure their own good looks are not as important as a woman’s," says Fisher, who wasn't involved with the study. "They figure they’re selling a whole lot of things that women want that aren’t associated with being attractive."
  Besides, from an evolutionary perspective, men are simply looking for the woman most likely to produce a strong healthy baby — so that means they’re often focused on physical attractiveness.
  "Men might as well reach for the stars," says William Pollack, a Harvard University psychologist and the director of the Center for Men and Young Men at McLean Hospital. "Women are the ones who are going to have the baby. They need to be a little more picky."
  In the end, there might be some signs that boorish boys know they’re overreaching — and that may be expressed in the level of their braggadocio.
  When a really attractive man is interested in a date, Brody says, he’s quieter and more cautious. "He’ll come back a bunch of times and try to get to know me before asking," she adds.
  
  在《Knocked Up》的一幕场景中，Seth Rogen扮演的角色醉醺醺的对Katherine Heigl嘟哝：“你比我漂亮！”最新的一项研究证实了人们的一个常识：不管多么差劲的男人都会自认为自己能赢得美女的芳心。
  “这是个规律”，酒保Karen Brody说，“越垃圾的家伙越不停的追求美女。”
  Brody——Woodstown, N.J.的一个瘦弱的酒保，外表比她的实际年龄47岁年轻许多——回忆了她被一个大腹便便的、缺门牙的卡车司机“款待”的经历。那天晚上，夜色渐深，那个卡车司机倒在一边，最终从椅子上摔了下来。正当她跑过去看他是否有事时，他突然对她展开了攻势——躺在地上。
  显然，那个胖司机没什么毛病，他对Brody的勾引也不是因为酒精的作用。最新的一项研究证实了女人共知的一个常识：不管多么差劲的男人都会自认为自己能赢得美女的芳心。
  证据就在婚介网站HOTorNOT.com上，在那里，会员可以彼此评价各自的“魅力”。这个网站提供了一组宝贵的数据：根据发表在最近一期《心理科学》上的一项研究的记载，它不仅包含了会员的约会习惯，还有会员对自己的吸引力以及对其潜在约会对象的“魅力”的评价。
  研究者研究了2005年10天内16550个会员的得分和约会情况。所有被试的性取向均为正常，其中75%为男性，25%为女性。
  通过这些数据，研究者认为，男性比女性更看重未来伴侣的外表。比起女性来，男性较少考虑这个问题：自身缺乏吸引力——不管是自认为的还是在别人看来——会阻碍自己与有“魅力”的人进行约会。
  也许男人以为女人都看过《青蛙王子》的故事并铭记在心，于是我们女人可以追寻男人的内在美而忽略男人的丑陋外表。或者，男人内化了大众传媒传递的信息：比如《Knocked Up》这样的电影，一个懒鬼赢得了美女的芳心；比如《According to Jim》这样的电视剧，一个麻烦、糟糕的男人娶到了漂亮的老婆。
  该研究的主要作者，哥伦比亚大学商学院副教授Leonard Lee认为，电影、电视剧中那些不般配的夫妻也许能够解释为什么那些貌似倒霉的男人会抱有如此高的期望。但他不知道那些缺乏魅力的男人最终是否会明白，在现实中，他们的机会渺茫。该研究还有一个重要的发现：不管男女，都想要跟别人约会。
  来自HOTorNOT.com的数据提示，男人须要学会接受自己的局限：他们显然应该邀请更多的约会，以增加成功的几率。事实上，研究中的男性提请约会的次数整整是女性的2.4倍。研究者并不关注这类在线的“勾引”有多少会成功，而是关注大多数男性发起的约会数量，这也许是个信号：缺乏吸引力的女性——甚至包括男性——满足于与自己“魅力”指数近似的异性约会。
  “漂亮的人总是追求漂亮的人”，该研究外的另一位学者、专门研究交配行为和浪漫爱情的罗格斯大学教授Helen Fisher说，“最终，男性发现他们自己的美貌并不像女性的美貌那样重要。他们发现，虽然他们兜售了一大堆女性希望的东西，但这不会使他们变得富有吸引力。”
  此外，从进化的角度来看，男人追求女人多半只是为了繁衍强壮、健康的后代——因此他们常常只关心女人的外表。
  “男人也可以伸手去摘星追梦，”哈佛大学心理学家、McLean 医院男性及青年男性中心主任William Pollack 说，“但只有女人能怀孕，所以她们需要多一些挑剔。
  最后，也许有一些粗俗的男人发现自己过了头的迹象——这表现在他们吹牛的程度中。
  “当一个真正有吸引力的男人想要约会时，” Brody说，“他会更加平静、小心。”“他会仔细思考，并且在约我之前试着了解我。”她补充道。