These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters-who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Don't miss the last one.
***
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
***
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
***
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
***
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
***
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
***
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
***
Q: To a lady,So the date of conception (her baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
***
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
***
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
***
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
***
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
***
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: ok
Q: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
***
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
***
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere and asking me some nonesense questions!
